I can't help but feel guilty, like I am somehow to blame. But I know in my heart that I did the right thing. I wasn't just legally obligated to report the abuse, I was morally obligated. But still... It breaks my heart all the same.
I was so affected by this news on Monday, that it literally made me sick to my stomach, so much so, I wound up having to take Tuesday off. I think I just needed a "mental health" day. A little bit of time off. My emotions are hardwired to my stomach, you see. Thank God for Ricky -- he was there for me the whole time, listening to me ramble incoherently, letting me cry on him, and comforting me when it seemed like nothing and no one could ever comfort me again. (Yes, I know I have a flair for the dramatic. Sue me.) I was so depressed this week, I even considered looking for another job. And I freaking love my job. But Ricky talked me down from the ledge, and going back to work on Wednesday and teaching again got me back on my feet. It reminded me how much I love my job and encouraged me to stick it out.
But I sincerely hope nothing like that ever happens again. Of course I want my students to know I am there for them, no matter what. But if I must be honest, a small part of me wishes that student had chosen to tell someone else, preferably a family member. As if that would somehow change the end result -- who knows, maybe it wouldn't have. But still... I think I will always wonder. It makes me think of that quote: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." *sigh*
So that was the beginning of my see-saw week. I'm happy to report the remainder of my week was much, much, much better. My students were sweet and pretty well behaved (for 9th graders). Ricky surprised me with tickets to the opera -- we're seeing Mozart's Don Giovanni next month. To get us inspired, we've been watching some of Mozart's operas on YouTube. And to my very great surprise, I've discovered I adore opera. Like a lot. I can't wait for April to get here!
Today so far has been an awesome day. I had a good day with my students, then a coffee date with an old friend, and a salon appointment after work. I had bitten off all of my nails earlier this week, I was so stressed, so I was badly in need of a manicure. I chose a sparkly silver shade for my nails, wanting a little pick-me-up. And then I decided to cut my hair on a whim.
It had been bugging me lately that my hair didn't have much of a style. It was just kind of long and blah and boring. So I decided to cut more layers in the front and go for some side bangs. And I loooooved the end result. I finally have an actual hairstyle! I also colored it a slightly darker shade of brown -- I wasn't much digging the reddish brown I had. Here is the end result: