Update: In which I discuss my see-saw week, opera, and hair.

This week started off on a (really, really, really) bad foot. Monday I went back to school after spring break and received some terrible news regarding a student. This was the same student who came to me just before spring break to tell me she had been abused by a relative. She told me this on the same day Japan was struck by the earthquake and subsequent tsunami, and let me tell you, receiving that news was like experiencing a little earthquake of my own. I did what teachers in Florida are legally obligated to do -- I reported the abuse. This was on the Friday right before spring break. I left school, had my week off, but thought about that student a lot during that time, hoping she was okay. Then on Monday I learned that my reporting that incident led to some serious consequences in that student's life. Some terrible, terrible consequences.

I can't help but feel guilty, like I am somehow to blame. But I know in my heart that I did the right thing. I wasn't just legally obligated to report the abuse, I was morally obligated. But still... It breaks my heart all the same.

I was so affected by this news on Monday, that it literally made me sick to my stomach, so much so, I wound up having to take Tuesday off. I think I just needed a "mental health" day. A little bit of time off. My emotions are hardwired to my stomach, you see. Thank God for Ricky -- he was there for me the whole time, listening to me ramble incoherently, letting me cry on him, and comforting me when it seemed like nothing and no one could ever comfort me again. (Yes, I know I have a flair for the dramatic. Sue me.) I was so depressed this week, I even considered looking for another job. And I freaking love my job. But Ricky talked me down from the ledge, and going back to work on Wednesday and teaching again got me back on my feet. It reminded me how much I love my job and encouraged me to stick it out.

But I sincerely hope nothing like that ever happens again. Of course I want my students to know I am there for them, no matter what. But if I must be honest, a small part of me wishes that student had chosen to tell someone else, preferably a family member. As if that would somehow change the end result -- who knows, maybe it wouldn't have. But still... I think I will always wonder. It makes me think of that quote: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." *sigh*

So that was the beginning of my see-saw week. I'm happy to report the remainder of my week was much, much, much better. My students were sweet and pretty well behaved (for 9th graders). Ricky surprised me with tickets to the opera -- we're seeing Mozart's Don Giovanni next month. To get us inspired, we've been watching some of Mozart's operas on YouTube. And to my very great surprise, I've discovered I adore opera. Like a lot. I can't wait for April to get here!

Today so far has been an awesome day. I had a good day with my students, then a coffee date with an old friend, and a salon appointment after work. I had bitten off all of my nails earlier this week, I was so stressed, so I was badly in need of a manicure. I chose a sparkly silver shade for my nails, wanting a little pick-me-up. And then I decided to cut my hair on a whim.

It had been bugging me lately that my hair didn't have much of a style. It was just kind of long and blah and boring. So I decided to cut more layers in the front and go for some side bangs. And I loooooved the end result. I finally have an actual hairstyle! I also colored it a slightly darker shade of brown -- I wasn't much digging the reddish brown I had. Here is the end result:

Ricky and I don't have much plans for this weekend, just a lot of rest and relaxation. Just the way I like it. :-) What are your plans for this weekend? Whatever you do, I hope you have an amazing time!

The Impotence of Proofreading

As an English teacher for students in grades 9-12, looking out for spelling or grammatical mistakes isn't just my day job, it's my passion. I get a kick out of catching mistakes in published books, magazines, or newspapers. I really do. I have even been known to manually correct these mistakes on the printed page. Something about finding those mistakes, whether it's the writer's inability to distinguish between than/then, theirs/there's, or my personal favorite, its/it's, makes my brain hurt. So I just have to correct them. You know, to make my brain happy.

Now I know that mistakes happen sometimes. I'm not trying to say I'm perfect. God knows I'm not! I'm sure some of my blog posts might have an error or two in them. And mistakes aren't necessarily a bad thing, because they can serve as learning tools. But when the mistakes are plentiful, when it's obvious the writer did not even glance at his/her paper before handing it in, that's when I take it personally. Because it's a lack of respect to the reader, which is motivated in turn by a lack of caring on the part of the writer -- he/she couldn't spare the extra second to proofread his/her work because he/she just doesn't care.  He/she doesn't care about you, the reader. Or if the paper ever gets read. In fact, he/she is probably hoping it never gets read. Especially by someone wielding a red pen.

What did you think of the video? Do you proofread any work you write before submitting it, whether academically or professionally?

Kudos to my bloggy friend Asheyna for sending me the video! You inspired this post. :)

Lolcat of the Week

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I was browsing this week's Lolcats when this one caught my eye. I always love the "countdown kitties" on that website, and this one didn't fail to make me laugh out loud, literally. :D

This is my last week of the Zelda Glazer Writing Institute. Yah, I know I bitched about it last week -- about how painful it would be to wake up early and sacrifice part of my summer. But you know what? Halfway through the course I realize it is worth it. It is more than worth the lack of sleep thanks to all the great things I'm learning. I am so appreciative of the fact that this workshop is the first workshop that doesn't talk down to teachers, but actually treats us with respect and dignity. I'm being inspired both as a writer and as an educator. Notice I put writer before educator -- to be honest with you, as much as I love teaching, there's nothing I love more than writing. This workshop has reminded me of that fact!

Have a great week, everyone! :-)

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So apparently I'm "Distinguished."

This week I took the two exams I needed in order to complete my teaching certification with ABCTE: the Professional Teaching Knowledge Exam and English Language Arts (6-12) Exam. I found out about this certification program by complete accident -- my temporary teaching certificate expires on June 30th, and after taking the Florida teaching certification exams and thinking that was all I needed to be on track, I received a quite unwelcome surprise when my oh-so-wonderful state notified me I needed to take six education courses to complete my certification.

What?!

Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction. Plus a couple of expletives that are not worth repeating here on my family-friendly blog. So I fretted and fumed and was all set to murder myself via six classes in one semester at FIU while teaching full-time. (FYI: the tuition would've cost me over $5,000.00, not to mention the cost of my sanity and time.) I figured, this is what I have to do. It sucks, but I love teaching, so I will do it.

I forget how I found out about ABCTE. Possibly during my mad scramble online to research the different routes to certification. I registered to take my six classes of EPIC FAIL at the beginning of December. On December 18th, I found out about the program. How you had to pay $800.00 upfront and then just pass two exams in order to complete the program. No classes. No other work. Just pay the money and take the exams. That same day I dropped the six classes of EPIC FAIL at FIU and signed up with ABCTE.

Now the exams were the same ones I took previously, except that they were ABCTE's version and supposedly harder than Florida's exams. And yes, I did have to shell out $800.00, but I figured that was a deal compared to the $5,000+ I would've paid at FIU. So I was thrilled, yes. I couldn't believe there was no catch.

The catch was this -- ABCTE's exams are much harder than Florida's certification exams. I discovered this after taking some practice tests online. This made me order their CD-ROM Practice Tests, which I used to help me study in the last two weeks leading up to my first exam. Thank God I bought those CD-ROMs... I truly believe they helped me pass the tests. :-D

So I took the Education exam on Monday and scored a 295. You need a 270 to pass. I would've been happy with a flipping 270, but was pleased with the 295. The score sheet for the Education exam said I was "Proficient" and that was enough for me. Especially since I kept getting a 267 on the practice tests on the CD-ROM. :-0

On Wednesday I took my remaning test, English. You also need a 270 to pass on that one. I got a 354. :-) The score sheet said I was "Distinguished." This elicited a hearty chuckle from me.

So Reader, I am both Proficient and Distinguished. Does this mean I can pass GO and collect my $200.00? Not yet. I don't receive confirmation of my having passed either exam until my essays for both are scored. You need a 4 to pass. I'm really, really hoping I passed. I'm cautiously optimistic for now. ABTCE told me it usually takes a month for them to grade the essays...

It's going to be a long month!

At least I can use that time to start work on my next quest, THE THESIS.

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By the by, if you haven't taken my Bloggiversary Quiz yet, what are you waiting for?! The deadline is tomorrow. I will post the results then. :)

Teaching is a Three-Ring Circus

While I was with my friend yesterday and she was commiserating with me about the shitty pay that teachers receive, I said something that I personally feel is very true: "Teaching is a performance art." If you cannot grab your students' attention and maintain it, you will not survive even one year as a teacher. I know this as sure as any other lesson I've ever learned, because I had to learn it the hard way.

So how does one go about becoming a teacher?

It's not enough to do your bachelor's degree in education, not even a master's degree or a doctorate will really prepare you. Not really. Sure, learning about famous, dead, white, male teachers has a purpose - it helps you attain certification so you can actually get hired to teach - but once you're sitting at your desk and there's five minutes left before the first bell of your teaching career rings, none of those textbooks will do you a whit of good. I'm sorry to disappoint any aspiring teachers out there, but this is the God honest truth.

So what can you do to prepare yourself to become a teacher?

The best advice I can give you is to practice in an actual setting with real live students. Tutoring one-on-one, either by hiring out yourself or working with a service like Kaplan, Full Potential, etc., is a good way to start, as it gives you an idea of the rapport you will need to build with students, but in order to get the full experience of a class dynamic, you need to teach an actual class. I've been fortunate enough that almost every woman in my family is a teacher or works within education, so as a young girl, I got to go in with my mother, who's a teacher-aide, on school holidays (I went to a private school while my mother worked in a public school) and witness teaching from a different perspective.

Another thing that truly helped me was my experience working for the first principal to hire me, Mrs. Furmanick. A large part of my interview process involved my teaching English to a class of 7th graders, and I only had a few days beforehand to prepare. With great energy and excitement, I searched online for a short story that would capture the attention of these middle schoolers. I don't remember the exact story I used (this was six years ago and my memory is a freaking sieve), but I know it was fantasy and involved some kind of dragon. Whatever, I thought it was cool and I had a good feeling the students would, too. After finding my story, I prepared questions and planned my lesson down the milisecond. Heck, I even bought my first "teacherly" outfit, this silky blouse with sleek beige khaki pants.

I thought I looked professional. I thought I was prepared. I thought wrong.

Sure, the first half of my lesson plan went great. I introduced myself and asked the students to say a little about themselves so that I could learn about them, too. I introduced the story, taking great care to emphasize the fantasy and action elements of it. Then I called upon various students to read, stopping the reading every so often to ask pointed questions to make sure the students understood the story and were paying attention. I was so smug, thinking I had the job in the bag. I was as good as hired, I thought. Then suddenly, the story was done, all my questions had been answered. The students were all seated in their desks, looking at me attentively, waiting for the rest of their lesson. But my script was done. Despite the fact that I still had 15 minutes left in the class, I was done.

That was the moment I realized that teaching is not an exact science. You can plan your lessons, and yes, you should plan lessons ahead of time so that you are prepared, but you have to be ready for anything. You have to have back-up plans so that you don't have dead space and time to kill. Because the students will smell the blood in the water and nothing, nothing is worse than showing the students you're not prepared for them.

Did I get that job? Yes, yes, I did. But those 15 minutes I did not plan for were brutal. I had to scramble and call upon everything in my power not to flounder. I equate this experience with a comedian who's planned for a 20 minute routine, and then realizes mid-act that his jokes only take five minutes to tell. It was hell, but I've always been a good ad-libber, having been an active participant in my drama club during high school.

This year is my sixth year as a teacher. I have taught students in grades 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, and 12. I even had two brief experiences teaching at the college level, just one class apiece for an undergraduate English class and a graduate English class. I am not perfect, but I am experienced and feel I can handle just about anything a student can throw at me - barring violence and anything of that sort, of course. It's not the classes I took in education or the workshops that have made me the teacher I am today - if I am to be honest, it's 60% on-the-job learning and 40% experience from my years acting in high school.

Listlessness

Is it wrong to want the school year to be over already but still feel like I'm already beginning to miss my students? Well, the good ones, anyways.

I'm just so listless. I don't have energy to do anything except read the Twilight saga (I'm already on Book 3, Eclipse, which I'd better finish rereading soon because I promised I'd lend it to one of my students) and write ficlets. I finally reached another milestone the other day and wrote my 400th ficlet. Freaking insane. My boyfriend gets on my case because I haven't done lickety squat on my thesis, but there's always the summer, I reply.

The scary thing is that I'm going to have to hold myself to that, if I want to graduate anytime before 2008 ends. Which I do! Not just because it will get rid of this heavy albatross strung around my neck, but because I will receive a $3,000.00 increase in my teaching salary.

But in the meantime, I write ficlets and read, read and write ficlets. When the guilt starts to set in, I grade. I've actually gotten a lot of grading done in the past few days. I'm even almost caught up with my AP English Language & Composition classes. Ironically, I'm behind on the grading for my remedial reading students, which is the easiest grading to do. I guess that's why I've put it aside for now.

So I will be glad when June 6th rolls around and the school year is over. It's not that far away. Amazing how fast this school year has flown. How fast the year itself has flown. We are almost in summer. Already I can feel the heat starting to creep in, those humidity-soaked scorching days that Miami does so well. But it will be worth it, because then I'll be able to sleep in and not have to worry about grading anymore, just writing my thesis.

But I am starting to miss my students. I've forged a lot of great connections with many of my students this year. I was blessed to receive a mostly good bunch of kids. I have to remember to take my camera with me to work tomorrow so I can take pictures of them. I know I'll regret it in the future if I don't take advantage of the time I have now.

OK, enough sentimentality for one blog post. I must be PMSing, I'm never this way. Not this bad.

Before I close, one more obligatory Twilight reference: I found a pretty cool website that seems to be the quickest at posting updates about the series and the film and anything relating to both: Twilight Lexicon. I'm still a fan of everglow because it's such a creative and well-run site, but I'm digging this new one, too. Will this Twilight addiction never end?!