Resolutions

Every year I come up with a list of impossible resolutions that I inevitably wind up totally ignoring. This year I decided to come up with five reasonable resolutions that will make me feel better about myself and enjoy life more. Isn't that what resolutions are supposed to be about anyways?

Here are my resolutions for 2010. Happy New Year!

1. wear more dresses




2. be more affectionate





3. write less e-mails, more letters





4. fall in love with running again

 


5. read a book in Spanish




What are your resolutions for 2010?





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Lolcat of the Week

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I got some great spoils this year, but I think my favorite gift is yet to come ... le boyf and I decided to gift ourselves a vacation instead of material gifts this year, and I'm so unbelievably excited! It's been ages since I left anywhere. We'll be leaving on the vacation soon, so here's a Lolcat you can enjoy in my absence. I think it's very apropos, don't you? ;)


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Lolcat of the Week

 
Have a great week, everyone! And Happy Holidays. :)


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It's beginning to look a lot like ... Miami.



So Christmas is officially in TEN DAYS. (Cue panicked scream.) I have half of my gifts bought, some of which are winging their way to me at this very moment. Ah, I love online shopping...

Despite the fact that Christmas is so close, I must admit that it doesn't feel like the holidays to me yet. Yes, I know you can't turn on the radio or the television set without being inundated with Christmas songs and movies. But it's hard to get into the holiday spirit when it's almost 90 degrees outside.

Right now it's 7:30 PM, and I kid you not, hot and humid. Want proof? BAM:



So basically I only want one thing for Christmas this year, dear Santa. And that one thing is COOLER WEATHER.

Kthxbai.


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Lolcat of the Week (And Announcement of Captioning Contest Winner!!!)

Last week I got it into my mad brain to create the challenge: Caption This Lolcat! Bless you, kind readers, for not only putting up with my mad ideas, but for actually indulging them. All of the entries were fabulous, but my absolute favorite was this one:




Not only was it in Lolcat-appropriate spelling, but just really damn funny. Here this week's Lolcat, uncaptioned no more:




Congrats, Marc, and thanks again to all who entered! Be sure to check out Mark's blog, Daily Writing Practice. He's as talented a writer as he is funny. :)


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Time's A-Wasting... Enter my Lolcat Challenge!

I will be closing my challenge CAPTION THIS LOLCAT  at 9 PM (EST) tonight, in just over two hours, so if you haven't entered yet, hurry up and do so!

The commenter who provides the MOST LOLARIOUS comment for the uncaptioned Lolcat below will get his/her Lolcat featured at midnight tonight. Want to see the competition? It's pretty stiff, akshually. ;)

Please write your entries in a comment on the original post. Best of luck!






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These are a few of my (current) favorite things...

Chenille
I bought both a pair of socks and a pair of house slippers from Old Navy during their Black Friday super sale, and I lurve them. They are both made of chenille and are the most ridunkulously comfortable things I have ever, ever experienced. And I'm not even a sock person! (I get hot when I sleep with them on and wind up kicking them off during the night.) I will NOT be kicking off these socks during the night, though. They are like having fluffy clouds on your feet. Next on my wish list? A chenille robe! Actually, I honestly think I'd love anything made out of chenille now! Why don't they make regular clothes out of this material?!




Murad Facial Products
These products are the bomb. My skin, which used to be praised for looking like "porcelain" when I was in high school, has decided to revolt on me during my 30's. It turned super oily overnight and I've even been breaking out regularly. :( It's like my skin forgot to act up during high school and is paying me back for it now. The two products I've been using lately that seem to be helping are Noxzema (in the shower) and Murad. I especially love the Murad products -- they have everything from zit cream to moisturizer. And I've used them all and love them all. They've cleared up my skin without overdrying it, and their moisturizer is my new best friend. You can find them on Sephora. I highly recommend them if you have skin issues or just want to keep your skin in good condition.


 

Herbal Essences
Just like my face, my hair became oily overnight recently. I used to get away with washing my hair every two to three days. Now I have to wash it every other day or risk looking like a drowned rat. I think the Brazilian straightening treatment I've been doing on my hair might be the cause of this (it uses keratin, a moisturizer, to help straighten the wayward follicles). Whatever the cause may be, I've had to stop using moisturizing shampoos and conditioners, which is hard to do when you dye your hair and blow-dry/iron your hair as often as I do. I don't want to dry it out, but I want it to be clean. What's the solution? Herbal Essences! I love their "Drama Clean" shampoo and conditioner. It literally leaves my hair squeaky clean (no, really -- it was squeaking as I towel dried it the other day! :p).




Caramel Brulee Latte (Starbucks)
Words cannot describe how much I love the Caramel Brulee Latte from Starbucks. @MyTwiLife recommended it to me, and it is, as she so aptly puts it, "heaven in a cup." It's not too sweet, just the perfect amount of caramel and sugar. Oh great... I just made myself crave one.

 

"Alice" by Cocteau Twins (song)
I fricking love this song. For serious. (Yes, I'm stealing your phrase, Robyn. ;p) I first heard it in the trailer for "The Lovely Bones" and it was love at first listen. The song is just so uplifting. Listening to it makes me feel like I'm weightless, floating.



What are YOUR favorites this month? 
Let me know in the comments!


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Brief Midnight Poem

Blech, I can't sleep! I blame my impulsive, post-work trip to Starbucks. :-/ The silver lining? My muse came back! Here's an itty bitty snippet of a poem that just came to me:

Contusion

shudder shock of blood that rises
lava-like
beneath my skin —
crimson in its urgency
sudden in its intensity
all my limbs are frozen, inarticulate
as I am made newly aware
of the fragile cage that houses me
I rub at the unfurling bruise
as if to blot the pain
that pulses, bell-like, in my thready veins




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CHALLENGE: Caption This Lolcat!

Okay, so you know I post Lolcats every Monday that are captioned by Other People. It's time that I let YOU my lovely readers have a go at captioning a Lolcat.

The commenter who provides the MOST LOLARIOUS comment for the uncaptioned Lolcat below will get his/her Lolcat featured next week. Just write your captions in the comments below. (And yes, you can enter more than once.) You have until Sunday, 9 PM (EST). Happy captioning! :D






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*waves white flag*


So today I woke up and was still feeling kind of hellish, despite all that cranberry juice yesterday. But as I already missed one day of work this week, I didn't want to miss again. So I dragged my sorry self to work feeling hellish all the way.

Let me define hellish -- imagine what it feels like when you REALLY, REALLY have to pee. Are you imagining this yet? Well, imagine that you really, really have to pee, but every time you go to the bathroom to have a pee, nothing happens. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Oh, and there's a lovely burning sensation, too. Smashing.

Yep, I went to work feeling like that. I taught two classes feeling like that. And then, during my planning period at around 11 AM, I realized I couldn't stand it anymore. I was going to do what I said I didn't want to do yesterday -- visit a doctor. Thankfully, my boyf was available at that time to pick me up from work because I was feeling too wretched to fend for myself. He bought me lunch AND the new Harry Potter movie. (Yes, he is made of win. I am aware of this fact.)

When I got home, I tried to see if I could visit my family's doctor, but unfortunately he closes practice at noon, so I wasn't able to see him today. I honestly felt so bad that I couldn't wait till tomorrow, and that's when my ever-loving boyf stepped in AGAIN to save the day. You see, his parents are both doctors and they just happen to have medical test strips lying around the house, the kind that can test whether you have a bacterial infection or not. So I took one of those pee-on-a-strip-and-watch-it-change-color tests (no, not THAT kind of test), and it turns out I do have a bacterial infection. It's most likely UTI (that's Urinary Tract Infection for those of you not in the know). Boyf's mom prescribed me some Bactrim. Boyf made me drink gallons of water all day, and I kid you not, I was running to the bathroom to pee every five minutes. The best part was that I was actually peeing. And the pain gradually started to decrease.

I'm so glad I'm feeling better. I'm no longer as worried that tomorrow I will wake up feeling hellish. And the best part of it all is knowing that even though I waved a white flag of surrender on the issue of doctors, I was able to find a loophole -- I got diagnosed and treated without having to set foot in a doctor's office. Neener, neener, neener! (Hello, I am 31 going on 13.)

P.S.) Happy, happy birthday to my brother Jordy, who turns 26 today! :D







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Oh cranberry juice, why must you suck.

**Disclaimer: If you get grossed out by posts containing TMI having to do with sickness, do not read. Especially if you are a guy. That is all.**

So I woke up yesterday morning with my bladder on fire. No, really. There were flames and everything. Okay, so maybe not actual flames, but still. It felt like it. ::shrug::

Upon going to "the little girl's room," I realized to my great discontent that the flame-like sensation wasn't going away. No -- it was INTENSIFIED. And furthermore, my left kidney all of a sudden felt like it was being pummeled by Mike Tyson. Not good.

I crawled back to bed, contemplating going back to sleep, but I was in too much pain and annoyance to sleep. I drank my weight in water the rest of the day, and the pain subsided by nighttime, so I went to sleep expecting to feel totally fine the next morning. Thinking maybe this was just my body freaking out on me because I haven't been drinking enough liquid or something.

Apparently I was wrong. I woke up at 5:00 AM feeling worse. I didn't think that was possible. I mean, the sensation of flames attacking your bladder is not a pleasant one. And neither is your kidney being pummeled by Mike Tyson. But somehow, it felt like there were now TWO Mike Tyson's pummeling my kidney. And to make matters worse, when I tried to pee, it hurt like hell. And there was a little blood, just the faintest hint of pink on the toilet paper, but enough to make me worry.

I hate calling in sick on Mondays, but I had to do it. I felt too miserable to deal with whiny teenagers all day, especially when I felt like being a whiny teenager myself. I figured I'd just stay home and recuperate, and hopefully get well enough so that I don't have to visit the doctor (I hate visiting the doctor!!!). I'm thinking it's a UTI, or worse, a kidney or bladder infection, from my symptoms. So I've been drinking juice made out of this stuff all day:


That's right -- cranberry juice. Now this is something I normally don't drink for fun, like, ever. I detest cranberry juice. It's just so sour and full of yuck. I am curious as to why the hell this is the juice I need to drink to make the infection go away. Why can't it be strawberry or raspberry or apple juice, which are infinitely more palatable? What is it about cranberries that clears up infections? Is it because infections fear and detest cranberry juice as much as I do? I seriously think nobody despises cranberry juice as much as I do. No, really -- this is the face I make every time I drink it:

Not actually me, just some random cute baby from the interwebs.

Thank goodness for Ocean Spray. They seem to understand my pain and intolerance of all things cranberry, for they have created cranberry juice mixed with other juices. Like strawberry, raspberry, and apple.



Cue chorus of angels.

I have been happily drinking cran-strawberry juice all day. I've made good headway on the gallon I bought and I'm feeling a bit better. So here's hoping tomorrow morning I don't wake up to a bladder full of flames again. Because that would suck.
 
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Lolcat of the Week


I love this Lolcat of the Week! I picked this one because it especially made me laugh... :D

While searching for this week's Lolcat, I came across some pretty hilarious ones poking fun at Twilight. You can LOL at them here on my Twilight blog. (I may be a fan of the books, but it sure is fun to snark at the series anyway! :p)

By the way, if you ever come across a Lolcat that you'd like me to see, please let me know, either via email or in the comments! Who knows. You might just see it featured as a Lolcat of the Week...


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Sponsors

I am now accepting sponsors for "I blog, therefore I am." :)

If you are interested in advertising your company and products on my blog, all you have to do is email me at ASimon78@aol.com and let me know!

The types of products I'm interested in and think would advertise well on this blog include fashion, accessories, cosmetics, and art. I'm a big fan of Etsy, so if you're a vendor there and would like to advertise here, do let me know.



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The one in which a not-spider almost kills me in the shower. (But not really.)

In case you didn't know, one of my biggest phobias is spiders. As in, I don't want to be anywhere near one. As in, I don't care how big it is, I don't want it in my general vicinity. As in, the volume of my screams increases in proportion to the size and speed of the beast.

So the other day, I was minding my own business, just stepping into the shower, when lo and behold what do I see up in the corner by the shower-head but this lovely specimen:



It was a Daddy Longlegs, which after doing some research Googling, I discovered is not really a spider at all. They are, according to this website, not spiders but rather some strange sort of insect known as "Harvestmen."

...

After cheerily informing us about this ominous name, this same website goes on to assure the reader that Daddy Longlegs are harmless. They state:

You don't need to be afraid of Daddy Longlegs because they have no venom at all.

Um gee, thanks, Mister Website. But Imma keep on being scared if that's all right with you. Because Daddy Longlegs may not have venom, but they do have LONG LEGS. And they move REALLY, REALLY FAST.

::shudder::

Which brings me back to my story.

So after my shower was interrupted by this not-spider, I decided to take action. By which I mean I picked up my giant container of Noxzema face cream and proceeded to whack the loathsome creature with it.




Alas, I discovered to my dismay that while Noxzema is great for the face, it doesn't work so well in defending you from not-spiders. Instead of being crushed by the giant Noxzema bottle, the horrid creature actually started CRAWLING TOWARDS ME OMG. And by crawling I mean CRAWLING REALLY, REALLY FAST TOWARDS ME OMFG.

Reader, I think I jumped seven feet. No, really, if there was an Olympic medal for jumping seven feet after seeing not-spiders, the medal would so be hanging around my neck right now.

I'm normally not a screamer, but this spider was so fast it made me scream. I dropped the Noxzema bottle and almost slipped on the shower mat, I was in such a panic. The following music may or may not have been playing in my head:



Needless to say, that was the shortest shower that was ever taken in the history of showers.

The End.

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Lolcat of the Week

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

*puts away Thanksgiving*

Time to get ready for my most favorite time of the year... Christmas! :-D

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These are a few of my (current) favorite things...

Cold Fronts

So I live in South Florida, and I've never seen snow (outside of the movies), and the coldest temperatures I've ever experienced were in the low 30's, Fahrenheit.  (Jealous yet? ;p)

However, I have always considered myself more of a winter girl than a summer girl. I just love Miami winters. We had our first pretty serious cold front of the season come in last night. You guys, I was actually shivering. And now that Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is on its way, the crisp nights will hopefully be more frequent. Hopefully.

Another reason to love cold fronts in Miami? They equal automatic good hair days!

Cracker Barrel


Speaking of Thanksgiving, last night I celebrated Thanksgiving with le boyf and his family. He had some relatives in from out of town, so we took them to Cracker Barrel for dinner. Alas, they were out of turkey AND pie (blasphemy of blasphemies!), but we made do with meat loaf, mashed potatoes with sawmill gravy, and my absolute favorite food at Cracker Barrel -- their bread.

Every time I go to Cracker Barrel, what I salivate for is not the food, as scrumptious as it is. It's the bread. I love their biscuits and cornbread almost as much as I love my own boyf. He knows this and accepts this. He probably loves the bread almost as much as me, too! And I'm okay with that. Because it is that darn good.

Okay, great. I just made myself hungry.

NARS Lip Gloss


Lately, I've been wearing less lipstick and more lip gloss. I find that lipstick can be very drying during the winter months while lipgloss is more forgiving on the lips.

One of the best lip gloss brands I've found is NARS. I especially like the shades "Greek Holiday" and "Dolce Vita." What I like best about their lip gloss is that it complements women of all complexions, dark or fair, and their lip glosses aren't very quick to disappear (and I say this as a chronic lip biter -- I make Kristen Stewart in "Twilight" look almost normal).

To see all their shades and purchase NARS lip gloss, visit Sephora. They're $24 each, but they last a while. (I apply it at least once a day and I usually go through a tube in 2-3 months.)

Peacock Feather Earrings


Something strange about me -- sometimes it takes me a while to catch on to a certain fad. While I might admire it, seeing it everywhere seems to diminish its appeal for me somewhat. It isn't until its popularity starts to fade that I perk up and start to pay attention.

So it was with peacock feather earrings. A year or two ago, I used to see them everywhere. Even my students were wearing them ... to school. Yeah, so I wasn't having it at first. Not so much.

Last month, I was browsing my favorite website, Etsy, when I came across these peacock feather earrings. For FOUR DOLLARS. I kid you not. I thought about it for about a second, and then I pounced. They arrived a week later and it was love at first sight. I love how they look with jeans and heels. Too cute.

What's that you say? They're so last year? *shrug* Who cares, I like them today.

(To browse the Etsy store where I purchased these darlings, go here.)

The Strokes

Similar to my experience with peacock feather earrings, I didn't start liking the band The Strokes until much later. In fact, when they first caught my attention a month ago (I happened to find the song "Take it or Leave it" on YouTube) and I started digging around on the interwebs to find out more about them, it was only to discover that the band is for all intents and purposes broken up.

Woe.

But at least I could still purchase their old albums and enjoy them today. And the lead singer, Julian Casablancas, recently released his own solo album called Phrazes For The Young (which you can preview for free and download for $4.99 on Amazon). And it's pretty damn good. Honestly, he's what makes (made?) the band so damn good. His voice isn't the smooth, pretty-boy voice that so many male singers affect today -- it's guttural, bordering on the barest fringes of rage and/or despair (take your pick). Pair that with some awesome guitar and drum work and you've got a bonafide rock band. We need more bands like this.

Here's that song I was telling you about, "Take it or Leave it." It is awesome. Enjoy!




What are some of your favorites this month? Let me know in the comments!

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Lolcat of the Week

funny pictures of cats with captions

I'm currently on a diet and have lost about 5 pounds (yay, me!), but that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner this Thursday... :D

Have a great week and a very happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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