John McCain's Campaign: An Obituary


The campaign of John McCain passed away this Tuesday. It had been struggling for quite some time, though it rallied in the final days before finally succumbing at 11:00 PM (EST). The cause of death? Disorganization and poor planning are being touted as the main reasons, although others cite McCain's age, his lack of economic knowledge, as well as his inexperienced V.P. pick, Sarah Palin (alias, "Caribou Barbie"), as the contributing factors.

The campaign will leave behind several disappointed, not to mention incensed, Republicans in its wake, such as Bill O'Reily and Rush Limbaugh, as well as millions of jubilant citizens of all walks of life and political parties who are optimistic for the future of this country and for the new president-elect, Barack Obama, who will take the office McCain had expected -- and failed -- to achieve.

In lieu of flowers, family and friends of the deceased are asking for monetary donations instead. It is rumored that they need funds to help pay for the considerable financial dent made by Palin's purported shopping "spree," although others claim the money will be used to fund Palin's education in basic history, civics, and geography.

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