The Summer of Films

I hereby christen this summer "The Summer of Films." I think I've seen more movies in the month of June than the whole of last year. Crazy.

These are the movies I saw in June:
  • "Star Trek" (I is a trekkie now. For realz.)
  • "Drag Me to Hell" (Effing scary.)
  • "The Hangover" (Hilarious!)
  • "Up" (Best Pixar movie to date.)
  • "The Proposal" (Okay, I guess.)
  • "Transformers 2" (...)
And that's just in the theater, not counting the movies I've seen with the boyf at home on DVD. And this is not counting the movies I have yet to see this summer, like "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" (be still, my beating fangirl heart).

I've liked most of the movies I've seen in the theater this summer. "The Hangover" was funny as heck. I laughed so hard, I think I may have bruised a rib or two. There are a few gross-out moments, which I'm not fond of in films, but overall it was a pretty good movie.

"Up" was fantabulous. I loved how surprisingly bittersweet it was -- the first 15 minutes of the film had me bawling, then the remainder of the film had me laughing hysterically, and then getting teary again at the end. Actual line of dialogue from the film: "I am hiding under your porch because I love you." *Dies from adorableness* I love that talking dog, Doug. I want one.

"The Proposal" was only okay. It was kinda formulaic. (I know what you're going to say -- what romantic comedy isn't? My response: "Love Actually." Shut you up.)

And as for the last movie, the one I've been waiting for all summer, all year, with bated breath, the movie that had my boyf and all grown men jumping up and down like a little boy in wide-eyed expectation -- TRANSFORMERS -- and yes, the movie needs to be in all caps and all bold. The flipping movie of the flipping summer ... What did I think of it? Well, it sucked.

Yes, you read that right -- It sucked.

Let me enumerate for you the many ways it sucked: it was horribly written, there was dog-humping, robot-humping, mothers eating brownies laced with pot, robo-sluts, inexplicable dialogue, Megan Fox clearly needs to stop acting and pursue a career in Hugh Hefner's stable, the movie feels like an overblown ad for the military, and oh yeah, there are two robots who are such racial stereotypes, they have gold robot teeth. I kid you not.

But why take my word for it. Read this to see all the other 1,000,000,000 things wrong with the movie.

If I have one wish, it's that I never have to be subjected to such a shoddy film ever again. I knew it wouldn't be as good as the first one, but I had no idea it would be this bad. Blech.

Here's hoping "Harry Potter" will take the bad taste out of my mouth.

ETA: My boyf asked that I write that he REALLY hated "Transformers 2." In case that wasn't clear. And he says this as a super-duper Transformers fan.

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7 comment(s):

Unknown said...

P.S.) I feel I should add that I have nothing against the military. I have a friend in Iraq right now. Everything else I complained about "Transformers 2" I fully stand by, however. Including the humping dogs.

Kavi said...

thanks for warning me about Transformers !!

enjoy the time !

Kate said...

I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one who cried through the first 15 minutes of "Up"--I literally did! My dad looked quite alarmed. Also, Love Actually is pretty much my favorite movie so thanks for referencing it.

Gah, I had zero desire to see Transformers and now I have -10 desire. I'm glad you reaffirmed my decision to avoid it. I really can't stand Megan Fox so that was enough to deter me. Sorry you wasted any money on it. Let Harry Potter be the salve for that bad movie experience. Yay Harry!

Ann Marie said...

Oh my gosh! I LOL at your review of Transformers! EVERYTHING I HATED written so well!

If I had seen this earlier, I seriously would have linked to you.
I had to even read it out loud to Chad.

My husband is a huge transformer nerd, so I really wanted it to be good for him. But oh man...

Do you know Megan Fox said in Entertainment weekly that it WOULD be the best summer action flick this year? Oh boy.. if that's the case.. we are in for a bad year.

At the start of the movie when it shows her sprawled on the motercycle, a few guys were yelling out gross crap. I was almost ready to leave then.

Oh man.. thanks for the laugh..

Unknown said...

@Ann: That part where she's sprawled on the motorcycle made me want to walk out, too. Even without guys yelling gross crap. is your boyf still a Transformers fan after the movie? What did he think of it?

Anonymous said...

Ew. Do not talk to me about Transformers 2.


Anyway, I really want to watch The Proposal! I love Ryan Reynolds, hah. I'm not sure I'd like The Hangover, but since everyone's talking about how hilarious it is, maybe I'll drag my friends with me =)

I love how I have so much more time for these things during the summer =DD

Malia said...

Transformers. Haven't seen it. Don't think I will because I vomit everytime I see/hear Megan Fox talk about her past sexual encounters. Seriously, stop.

I cried in Up too, twice. It was really emotional actually. I kept thinking about my grandparents and their love and it just made me emotional for some reason.