He Said, She Said. [ficlet]

She: I think it’s time.

He: Huh? What are you waking me up for? It’s almost three in the morning for Christ’s sake.

She: Jimmy, I said I think it’s time.

He: Time for what? Hammer time? [Under his breath] Nap time?

She [hits him with a pillow]: Oh, you great big dolt! I never shoulda married you! Why didn’t I listen to my mother…

He: There, there. Don’t cry, sweetheart. Hey, you ever wondered why we pronounce it “sweet heart” when it’s written together, as one word? You’d think it would make a “th” sound after sweet.

She: That’s it. I want a divorce.

He: Oh, calm down, Kathy, I’m just joshing you. Just helping you relax.

She: Well, I’m not going to relax until you call a cab. I’m gonna go take a shower.

He: What are you going to take a shower for? Who you looking to impress?

She: Jim, the whole family’s going to be there! Your dad always brings that video camera to every occasion. I want to look nice is all.

He: You’d think we were going to a beauty pageant and not having a baby. Sheesh.

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